FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
