his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
