So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
