Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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