apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
