so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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