so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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