My friends, they love my intelligence
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
