One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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