I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
