remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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