The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
