So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
