I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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