now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will pee on everything he values.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
