They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
