i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
