Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
