I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
