i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can you bring me the toilet please
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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