brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize