Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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