Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize