is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
