mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
