we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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