I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
