Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
