we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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