Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize