He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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