I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
