a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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