hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
