Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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