Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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