Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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