so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
