Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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