We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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