suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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