the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
