sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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