Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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