Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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