Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
