I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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