My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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