It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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