Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
