I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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