I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
