did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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