Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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