you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
