return my video game
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize