you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
