I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
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