exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We have started to decorate penises.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
