Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
