I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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