plz talk dirty to me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
