I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
