omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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