you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
