Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
