I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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