I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
