did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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